Christmas is not right unless I'm sweating like a leg of ham down on the beach.
But I was dreaming of white teeth for Christmas.
Let me reminisce a little.
You see white teeth have always been a little obsession of mine and I've had marvellous results in the past with a home whitening kit that involved a custom mould for my teeth and dental practice strength peroxide from this crazy lady that calls herself Tina the Tooth Fairy! at Striking Smiles.
Now I did have to wear the mould at night for two weeks, which I diligently did and the results were amazing and lasted for years with only a top up one night a month every 4 months or so.
Some photographical journalism from that white-toothed era circa 2005
(note to self: am glad you let those brows grow out and that you have eased off on le face faux glow and did somebody get a little cray cray with the under eye illuminating concealer, did they?)
There is no denying those fangs are impressively white for a DIY home jobby.
I did a top up session then for my wedding of the same magic with a reorder from Tina The Tooth Fairy as I still have my moulds in tact and while I didn't persist to get them as white as my pearlies are above they were fairly blanched to be fair on the big day. An important bridal move when in stark contrast with a white gown.
Then comes Natural November and the perils of using a natural tooth powder- Mukti's version. While my hair and skin and everything benefited from my month au naturale my chompers were decidedly jaundiced.
In fact scarily so that by the end of the month I felt more than just kinda gross.
They were very yellow and in particular around the gum line, yes I was smiling with my lips pursed Posh Spice style.
I thought this was actually staining but I think it was a plaque build up - ewwww gross I know plus some staining underneath. Double gross.
Anyway come December I was scrubbing weekly with bicarbonate of soda and reverted back to old reliable white-keeper Colgate Max White One
However I'm still looking a little too yelly for my liking.
Then in swoops Vani-T Pure White Tooth Whitening Gloss like a glimmering silver Christmas Fairy sent from above to save me and abolish my yellow dental sins.
Now quite a random thing for a cosmetic company to have in their wares. But I won't argue as apart from looking quite important and lux in a silver metallic pen, this shiz works.
What is more over the course of a lazy afternoon watching movies on the sofa you can have vastly improved whiteness.
Its a pen tip not unlike a Touche Eclat and you simply paint on the gloss every fifteen minutes for two hours, thats right multiplication whizzes , that is indeed eight applications.
Now I am extra geeky and used my teeth mould to hold the gloss in place while I watched Sherlock Holmes or some other non-eventful husband chosen matinee.
It tastes minty and a little chemically in the same vain but it kept me away from the popcorn, perhaps another of it's perks.
And by Holmes I was pretty happy with the results for the minimum effort involved.
Then for upkeep I've been nonchalantly using these two easy peasy white and breezy products that come in the one pack. Extreme Teeth Whitening Pen with Whitening Strips
A handy litle combo pack that contains a pen, not unlike the Vani-T number and seven little white strip packs which are much like the cult Crest strips in the US.
The pen lives on my desk at work and I duck down in my pod and paint this on my teeth for a little whitening touch up. The strips are really easy and you just stick the little pre-loaded cellophane strips on to your teeth , top and bottom and they mould and hold reasonably well.
They get a little foamy under the collar but mostly go unnoticed as you wear them for 0 mins or so. I sometimes do this on the transit to work. I like the idea of using the begrudged trans-Sydney commute for beauty avail.
The first strip I did , hubby noticed a difference so while they are not whitening superstars they are great for maintenance dear Watsons.
So my eternal white search continues and writing this has made me think I should do another Striking Smiles blast to get back to my former glory.
Oh also to note my dentist gave me a great descale and polish on Monday and turns out my teethys have come up trumps with no lasting staining from the Natural November plaque attacks.
One last memo- I got a dentist scolding for not flossing regularly . I'm sporadic to say the least. He tuts and says daily, you must floss daily so thanks Doc, Day 4 and I've flossed nightly, just another 2 mins to add to the already arduous night time beauty ritual.
Tis tough work this beauty!!
PS he quoted me $600 for in-chair whitening.....
Have you had your teeth whitened?
Do you use whitening prodz?
Do you humour your betrothed and mindlessy watch crappy movies for their sake while writing blogs in your head?
* all products were supplied for consideration. Stains, plaque attack opinions and wonky bottom snaggle tooth are my own
Entered my Dermalogica Daylight Defense Kit Giveaway yet?
Why the blazes not you crazy cat?
Scoot on over and tell me why you love summer....